i'll listen

life has been different lately. i've been wanting to blog, and i have things to blog about (i've been getting a little crafty), but things have been so different lately, i haven't been able to work blogging in.

i've gained some perspective lately. this whole "this would never happen to someone i know" perspective that i walk around with has been shattered. for the past month and a half, God has shown me that no one is the exception. and that life and love and everything in between is a gift. and now i know that that could happen to them, and i know that that could happen to me.

i've taken for granted my husband and my baby and my life. but i've had my eyes opened so big this past month that all i can think about now is how wonderful they are. and how much i love them. and how thankful i am for them. and how that no one is immune to divorce or cancer or hurt or devastation.

i want to blame the devil. i want to tell him to get out of my life and my friends lives and stop wrecking everything. "you are hurting people i love and that makes me hurt. leave them alone!"

but then the people that bring me back to reality are the people who are hurting. they are glorifying God through their circumstances. they are finding blessings in times of despair. i am in awe. we have nothing without God. we don't have health or love or joy. we have nothing. we can pretend and try to live without Him, but he is what brings the good things in life. and unfortunately the bad things too.

what is going on? what are you doing God? i trust and know that you have a greater plan and that you know what you're doing, but why? why are these things happening?

you can tell me, i'll listen...