what am I doing?

i've seen blogs. i've read blogs. i've been pretty interested by other people's blogs. but i never really considered being a "blogger". (doesn't everyone who starts a blog say that?) but today i more than considered it, i have started it. i am blogging. not for anyone in particular. in fact, i'm considering not even publicizing my blogging to anyone. i just decided that i have a lot on my mind and my plate right now. i have a lot of things to think about and to think through. i thought starting a blog could be helpful for myself. and if i let others know about this blog, it could be funny or interesting to them. we'll see. i might bomb at this. but i figured i would at least try.

so, i'm looking forward. i decided on this title for two reasons. 1- i want to be a "looking forward" type of person. now, i'm all about living in the moment and appreciating what i have and what is around me. but i know that in a way, this is who i already am. i like to look forward and i like thinking about what is to come. not living in the past and thinking about what could have been. worrying about what could have been is not for me. i don't want to live my life like that because to me, that is not living.

reason 2- i have A LOT to look forward to right now. i am less than 2 weeks away from my due date. we don't know what we are having and this is our first baby. (yikes!) i am so looking forward to meeting the newest cook. i am looking forward to knowing if we are having a son or a daughter. i'm looking forward to seeing if our baby looks more like shaun or myself. i'm looking forward to holding and touching and smelling and loving our newest addition. i'm looking forward to no longer being pregnant...

and that's what i figured this blog would mostly be about. our new baby. my attempts at being a new mom. my lack of sleep and my overflow of love. my need for advice and my attempts at giving it. i think this blog is going to keep track of things i can't remember and maybe don't want to, but i think it will be good. i think i will enjoy this time of writing out my thoughts, my prayers, my faults and my joys.

so here it is. my first one. my first attempt at being a blogger. my first entry in a journal i share with the world. or maybe just shaun...