Monday, August 31, 2009

came and went

i knew it would. i knew that aug. 29th would come and pass just like any other day. but i was still REALLY hopeful that it would be a day of new beginnings. but alas, it wasn't. in fact, the whole weekend came and went. and now i'm sitting at work, pretending to work. (although i think everyone around me knows i'm really not.)

it's a weird feeling knowing that the day our baby was suppose to arrive has passed. for so long, aug. 29th seemed sooooo far away. now, it kind of feels like i did something wrong. like i missed some kind of deadline for a project or overslept for an exam. i keep thinking, "what do i do now?" i know that it's totally normal for a baby to be overdue, it's still just a weird feeling.

and plus, i can't focus on anything but the baby coming. every pain, every movement the baby makes has me thinking, "this could be it!" but it's just little bc getting cozy again. i guess in a way i'm not really surprised. staying in bed when i'm warm and cozy is one of my favorite things to do. i hate that feeling when the alarm clock goes off and i can't snooze any longer. if this child is anything like its mother, i could be pregnant for another 2 weeks!

i read this morning that "a watched pot never boils" so i need to keep myself busy and try not to focus on the baby being late. how the HECK am i suppose to do that? i'm expecting my first baby! and i don't know if it's a boy or a girl! and i don't know exactly when it's coming! and i've been playing this waiting game for 9 months! and i'm excited and scared and ready and nervous! i keep thinking, "i'm not ready to be a mom" while simultaneously thinking "if i'm not a mom by the end of the week, i'm going to loose it!!!" uuhhh....breathe jade, breathe. =)

i'm thankful for the wonderful pregnancy i've had so far. i'm thankful for shauny and how great and caring and sweet he continues to be. he is so ready to be a dad and i'm thankful that god brought us together almost 4 years ago, and now we are about to be parents together. he told me the other day that i'm one of the most even tempered persons he knows. i'm trying to maintain that these days. i'm trying to focus on everything good around me and not focus on my tardy baby. i know that bc will come out when they're ready.

just take your time little one. mommy doesn't like to be rushed or pressured either....

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